The Journey Continues

My journey was interrupted…  the world was moving so quickly and changing so rapidly that my journey into the normal literally halted.  The codependent skill of doing and being for others simply took over my being.  And now, here I stand at yet another fork in the road.  Making that important decision to begin my journey again….  the journey of learning about me, my feelings, my self worth and healing.

As I look forward to continuing my blog, I once again face the reality of my codependency.  Even though my journey has paused, I know that I will never be free from my codependency.  It is a part of me, a part of my character.  Often I retreat into memories of my past where I find an odd comfort in the regret over my failed past relationships, disappointment in choices I have made, joy in finding new love, and pride in the blessing of motherhood.  The familiar feelings of saying and doing the things that made others happy and comfortable, at the price of burying my true feelings and biting my tongue.

I will begin my healing again and continue my adventure.  I am excited to bring you along….  the outlook is positive and we codependents need each other.

The dock isn’t long enough….

I want to jump, I really do.  The dock is just too short.  I may change my mind.  The water may be too cold.  The water may be too shallow.  What if I can’t swim?  What if I scream and no one hears me?

We are faced with choices daily.  Why do so many of us jump just because someone else chose to jump before us?  If the dock were longer, we would have more time to really think about the choices we are about to maDock jumpke, and maybe jumping would not be so appealing.  Listen to yourself.  Intuitions have their purpose.  Be your own voice, your own mind, your own soul.  Break away from the herd and stop blindly following others who have a louder voice.

Evidence equals truth and does not lie.  Do not make choices you will be sorry for later in life.

Freedom from codependency is finding who you are and gaining the courage to nurture yourself, body and soul, first and above all others.

 

 

Live like you are dying…

My friend recently lost her husband of 26 years to terminal brain cancer.  Eyes are the windows to the soul and in her eyes I see an immense amount of pain, loneliness, and sadness.  People surround her, people care for her, people want to help her, but the only thing she wants is her best friend back.  Her husband was loved and respected by many, and his quick wit and humor endeared him to many others.  The courage and strength I have experienced from this family is an inspiration.

Live like you are dying.  No regrets.  Every moment, every memory, every smile is a blessing.  Happiness radiates and is infectious….  make every day count.

livelike

 

Rest in peace, my friend.  You are a welcomed soul in heaven.

 

The road is long…

The road is long, the journey is rough and consists of many different directions, obstacles, and decisions.  Being a lifelong codependent, I have always traveled my path with the belief that I can handle anything and everything on my own.  This belief is shared by many codependents as it creates an appearance of strength and competence.  The farther I travel on my walk, the more I have found others like me and this comes with the enlightenment that I do not have to be alone.  Others are willing to help carry my burdens and I am able to help with theirs.  In gathering friends and family along the way, the journey has become an adventure. forest above The strong and capable me becomes the sharing, loving, alive, and happy inner self that has waited for the chance to spring forth.  My journey is filled with faith, sunlight and happiness, an excitement greets each new day.  Codependency will no longer overshadow my world and leave me crouched in a corner, afraid to face the world.

I have taken a step back to view the forest, instead of focusing on the trees.

A new fork in the road discovered…

I have been walking for a long time on my journey, a journey filled with new beginnings, better understandings, and an appreciation offork-in-the-road life.  The path I walk has been fraught with highs and lows, along with a few stones which I have stumbled over.  While I have learned so much, I can’t shake the feeling that there is so much more ahead.  I await the next step eagerly and with much anticipation, as I see a new fork in the road ahead.  It is time to take a chance….

 

Another Step Towards Recovery

Becoming a self-confident person has always been a goal which seemed unattainable.  Although I am not yet fully operational as a self-lovromanceing person who exudes a terrific self esteem, I am happy to say that I have found an inner peace.  This inner peace has helped tamp down the awful thoughts and feelings I have had which hindered my confidence.

Inner peace translates to happiness.  Happiness has spread outward and embraced my entire world.   My newly found peace and happiness are imperative to the self care which is needed and craved.  Codependents who struggle with confidence issues can find their peace.  The will to find this peace is ever present, but it takes work.  It is not an easy task and one must keep the will for peace at the forefront of all thoughts.  The good new is:  peace is attainable.

inner peace

 

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Daybreak

daybreak

As the morning comes, I wake to the light and smile.  The sun.  It has finally come to warm this cold Minnesota town.  It has been a long, unforgiving winter.  As I open the window, the birds greet me with their morning song.  It is the most beautiful sound and again, I smile.  The air is crisp and a faint smell of dew is in the air.  God has surely painted a beautiful picture this morning.  I enjoy the view, as rabbits run and birds fly.  My cup of coffee is a comfort.  This is a most wonderful day.  Thank you, Lord for giving this day to me.

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