Why do I feel insecure? Why am I not important? Why am I told it is always about me, yet I feel overlooked?
When someone is excessively put down, beaten, and made to feel unimportant, it is almost impossible for that person to pick themselves up, change their attitude, and be important. It is simple for a codependent to act the way others expect them to, but they never really feel that way for themselves. Being compared to others is always at the forefront of their mind. The feeling of not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough… it is hard to overcome. When you pair those feelings with another who is very controlling and selfish, the outcome is devastating. A codependent has a difficult time finding their own sense of being. It is near impossible to feel and be normal. The sad truth is, we never feel good enough.
I have moments of clarity and happiness, as well as moments of severe sadness. I know I can overcome the sadness, or can I? I will never be normal, although I am unsure what normal is supposed to be. Can I be normal?
The plight of codependents–being unsure of how to make themselves happy while ensuring the happiness of others. I have made others laugh today… why am I not happy? I have made others feel loved and cared for today. Why do I not feel loved?
Since I am unable to feel love and comfort from others today, I will rely on my faith to bring me happiness. God, bless me and others who are sad, or overlooked, today.