The road is long…

The road is long, the journey is rough and consists of many different directions, obstacles, and decisions.  Being a lifelong codependent, I have always traveled my path with the belief that I can handle anything and everything on my own.  This belief is shared by many codependents as it creates an appearance of strength and competence.  The farther I travel on my walk, the more I have found others like me and this comes with the enlightenment that I do not have to be alone.  Others are willing to help carry my burdens and I am able to help with theirs.  In gathering friends and family along the way, the journey has become an adventure. forest above The strong and capable me becomes the sharing, loving, alive, and happy inner self that has waited for the chance to spring forth.  My journey is filled with faith, sunlight and happiness, an excitement greets each new day.  Codependency will no longer overshadow my world and leave me crouched in a corner, afraid to face the world.

I have taken a step back to view the forest, instead of focusing on the trees.

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Why not me?

Why do I feel insecure?  Why am I not important?  Why am I told it is always about me, yet I feel overlooked?

When someone is excessively put down, beaten, and made to feel unimportant, it is almost impossible for that person to pick themselves up, change their attitude, and be important.   It is simple for a codependent to act the way others expect them to, but they never really feel that way for themselves. Being compared to others is always at the forefront of their mind. The feeling of not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough… it is hard to overcome. When you pair those feelings with another who is very controlling and selfish, the outcome is devastating. A codependent has a difficult time finding their own sense of being. It is near impossible to feel and be normal. The sad truth is, we never feel good enough.

I have moments of clarity and happiness, as well as moments of severe sadness. I know I can overcome the sadness, or can I?  I will never be normal, although I am unsure what normal is supposed to be.  Can I be normal?

The plight of codependents–being unsure of how to make themselves happy while ensuring the happiness of others. I have made others laugh today…  why am I not happy?  I have made others feel loved and cared for today.  Why do I not feel loved?

Since I am unable to feel love and comfort from others today, I will rely on my faith to bring me happiness.  God, bless me and others who are sad, or overlooked, today.

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The Secret

What is the secret to a long and happy life?  Many believe it is staying fit and keeping in good health.  Others believe it is not taking risks and staying safe.  I believe the secret is happiness, a positive outlook, and a deep faith.  When a person is positive and loving life, it  inspires others to shine and want to have a more positive outlook as well.  I also notice that when I am in a positive frame of mind, I am more patient, and treat others with more love and kindness.  I, personally, really love to see people smile.

Happiness comes from within.  Believe it and smile.  Get your shine on!smiling

Keeping your head up

If God brought you to it, God will get you through it.  The mantra I repeat so often on days when I feel down or pushed around.  It is amazing to know that there are reasons for everything that happens, even though we may not see the reason immediately.  Just by keeping my faith, I have dealt with situations with an even temper and have persevered and accomplished more than I ever believed possible.  I have also discovered that having a happy and upbeat attitude is infectious and more and more people will be drawn to you.  Keep your head up, a smile on your face, and move forward.

Keep your head up; you are so much better than you believe.  I promise.

head up

It’s their world… we just live in it

How often do we take a backseat to others in our lives?  Are we giving in, settling, coping, or just being nice?  Being one who has settled, tried to be nice, gave in, and most definitely coped, I understand the need to make potential problems go away.  However, there are times when we want to be heard; we want our thoughts to be meaningful.  We want to be consulted about decisions and not be told what decision was made.  We want to be considered, we want some respect.

The path to perfect harmony is full of potholes.  Lord knows I have fallen into a few of those potholes, crawled my way out, and became a stronger person each time I landed back on solid ground.  Besides, is there really such a thing as perfect harmony in this world and do we want it–perfect? 

Count to ten and breathe deeply.   It won’t make the issues or problems go away, but it does help create peace in your soul.  Keep the faith, hope for a place in their world, and continue to love with all your heart.  In time, their world may open up to you.   

Faith, hope and love…  

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