The dock isn’t long enough….

I want to jump, I really do.  The dock is just too short.  I may change my mind.  The water may be too cold.  The water may be too shallow.  What if I can’t swim?  What if I scream and no one hears me?

We are faced with choices daily.  Why do so many of us jump just because someone else chose to jump before us?  If the dock were longer, we would have more time to really think about the choices we are about to maDock jumpke, and maybe jumping would not be so appealing.  Listen to yourself.  Intuitions have their purpose.  Be your own voice, your own mind, your own soul.  Break away from the herd and stop blindly following others who have a louder voice.

Evidence equals truth and does not lie.  Do not make choices you will be sorry for later in life.

Freedom from codependency is finding who you are and gaining the courage to nurture yourself, body and soul, first and above all others.

 

 

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Self Care 102

Self care is a necessity.  A need that must be filled daily.  Codependents tend to get lost in the caring for and giving to others, so much so that their own self care goes unattended.  I have to make a conscious effort to take care of myself each and every day.  Since my interests are varied, it is very easy for me to find something that I can do just for me.  However, many codependents seem to have a hard time finding an interest which would placate their self care need.  Self care can be as simple as watching a movie or reading a book.  A movie or book can take them away from the grind of making life better for everyone else.

Today, my self care involved watching a high school basketball game, interacting with my parrot, and writing this post.  My journey has created many forks in the road which have led to new interests and  curiosities.   This helps assuage my constant need to care for others.  SalsaIngredients

My newest idea, and quite possibly my craziest, is to start my own salsa-making business.  Is it possible?  Yes.  Anything is possible.  What is your self care strategy?  If you don’t have one, you really need to get one.

Memories made, memories shared

Another Christmas holiday has come and gone.  The time spent with families and friends are memories that will live forever.  The children have grown, but still have the youthful innocence which is so beautiful.  The ability to forget about my worries, even for a moment, is like a breath of fresh air.  I was able to enjoy the laughter and camaraderie and leave those troubles behind.  Since my self care includes unlimited laughter and hugs–I was in good hands.

As memories of the past are relived, the thoughts turn toward those who are no longer with us.  The wistful thoughts shared make the memories come to life.  Each person fills my life with their own brand of special.  They are all similar, yet they are all different and I love them equally. Spending the day with my children was the best gift I received, as I could not be more proud of each and every one.  The memories made are precious and priceless.  I am indeed very blessed.

Perception

To wear the badge of “Codependent,” one must go through a lifetime of addiction, dysfunction, and very trying life situations.  It is not a perfect life, nor is it an easy one.  It is, however, the life we have formed for ourselves and the life we live.  We are able to make the lives of those around us more pleasant, much to our own detriment.  It is the role in life that we have chosen and we take our role seriously.  It is a burden and it is a challenge, but we come out in the end as very capable and strong individuals.  I believe we become codependents as a result of the love we feel for the people to whom we are codependent.

This love we feel becomes hidden behind the façade of meekness or possibly even weakness.  It appears that we are incapable of handling situations, are controlled by others, and rarely do we think for ourselves.  Little do these people know about the strength and power every codependent holds.

A large part of my self-care involves writing this blog and writing has become a source of my strength.  The more I write, the stronger and more confident I feel.  When I feel confident, I want to share this confidence in my writing with the people closest to me.  I recently had my best friend state that she would like to edit my book, which is a story of my life and how I became the amazing codependent I am today.   I consented and provided it to her.  Upon her reading of only the beginning chapters, I was told that my book is too personal, how would my mother feel, and if this book ever got into the wrong hands I would surely be hurt due to the choices and decisions I have made in my past.  I was speechless.  I showed another friend a couple of my blog postings.  After she read them, she stated “that is just sad.”  I was hurt. 

Since I am on the road to recovering from codependency and heading towards independent living, I have to share the bad with the good.  It would be very easy for me to write a happy post every day, but that is not my purpose.  There are many of us codependents out there and if I can help even one, my life would be blessed.  I do not feel that we should hide or be embarrassed about our life stories.  They did, after all, mold us into the people we are today, and I am not unhappy being me.  I actually like me.

People do not take time to walk in the shoes of another or try to understand the pitfalls and roadblocks someone has faced on their path to recovery.  Perception without empathy is a very shallow view.

P.S.  I want to thank you all for reading my posts–you motivate and help me more than you know!