The road is long…

The road is long, the journey is rough and consists of many different directions, obstacles, and decisions.  Being a lifelong codependent, I have always traveled my path with the belief that I can handle anything and everything on my own.  This belief is shared by many codependents as it creates an appearance of strength and competence.  The farther I travel on my walk, the more I have found others like me and this comes with the enlightenment that I do not have to be alone.  Others are willing to help carry my burdens and I am able to help with theirs.  In gathering friends and family along the way, the journey has become an adventure. forest above The strong and capable me becomes the sharing, loving, alive, and happy inner self that has waited for the chance to spring forth.  My journey is filled with faith, sunlight and happiness, an excitement greets each new day.  Codependency will no longer overshadow my world and leave me crouched in a corner, afraid to face the world.

I have taken a step back to view the forest, instead of focusing on the trees.

A new fork in the road discovered…

I have been walking for a long time on my journey, a journey filled with new beginnings, better understandings, and an appreciation offork-in-the-road life.  The path I walk has been fraught with highs and lows, along with a few stones which I have stumbled over.  While I have learned so much, I can’t shake the feeling that there is so much more ahead.  I await the next step eagerly and with much anticipation, as I see a new fork in the road ahead.  It is time to take a chance….

 

Another Step Towards Recovery

Becoming a self-confident person has always been a goal which seemed unattainable.  Although I am not yet fully operational as a self-lovromanceing person who exudes a terrific self esteem, I am happy to say that I have found an inner peace.  This inner peace has helped tamp down the awful thoughts and feelings I have had which hindered my confidence.

Inner peace translates to happiness.  Happiness has spread outward and embraced my entire world.   My newly found peace and happiness are imperative to the self care which is needed and craved.  Codependents who struggle with confidence issues can find their peace.  The will to find this peace is ever present, but it takes work.  It is not an easy task and one must keep the will for peace at the forefront of all thoughts.  The good new is:  peace is attainable.

inner peace

 

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Daybreak

daybreak

As the morning comes, I wake to the light and smile.  The sun.  It has finally come to warm this cold Minnesota town.  It has been a long, unforgiving winter.  As I open the window, the birds greet me with their morning song.  It is the most beautiful sound and again, I smile.  The air is crisp and a faint smell of dew is in the air.  God has surely painted a beautiful picture this morning.  I enjoy the view, as rabbits run and birds fly.  My cup of coffee is a comfort.  This is a most wonderful day.  Thank you, Lord for giving this day to me.

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Busy life

While I am not a soccer mom, I am a working wife and mother who has three kids in sports.  The seemingly endless running from game to match is exhausting, yet exciting.  I love watching the kids play and I couldn’t be more proud.  I end up becoming so involved in the game or match that I get angry at bad calls, and exhilarated when we score. quiet

The busy life also makes me appreciate the quiet times, the times when I can be me and do not have to wear the mom or wife hats.  These quiet times enable me to rejuvenate and prepare for the next round of busy.  Self care helps me be centered, balanced, and happy.  It also keeps the irrational crazies away–those times when I can go from zero to mad in 10 seconds.

When you come home from your busy life and you are extremely exhausted, and your bed is screaming your name, take 15 minutes of quiet.  There is a definite need to unwind and breathe.  We take on so much of the world every day that we need our time of peace and quiet.  Love yourself and take care of yourself.  Your life and health depend on it.

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Quieting life down

Life equals busy and busy equals being on the move, all the time.  There are so many things I want to accomplish, but the feeling of having no time surrounds me.  Work, children, sports, school functions, cleaning, cooking, all combine to create a very full, very busy life, with little time for self care.  In these busy times, I need to consciously slow myself down and take time for me, my writing, and my self care.  The power of self care can recalibrate the mind and bring everything back to center.  When I am centered, the ideas flow and I am able to visualize future plans and goals.  The senses come alive.  I hear birds singing, I see details clearly, I smell the crisp in the air.

My busy life is the organized, helpful, and nurturing part of my world, but my quiet life is the thoughtful, caring, and creative part of my world.  The parts go together very well, but there are times when the balance is shifted to one side more than the other and it becomes hard to control.  The need to return the balance is imperative and learning to maintain the balance is the key.  Quiet life down and listen.  The answers will come.

The removal of monkeys

The monkey stole my free time.  I have been so busy feeding monkeys, I have lost myself.  The time has come to pluck them off my back, one by one, grab my laptop and do the thing that makes me so ridiculously happy and connected–writing.  There is such freedom in writing and sharing, as well as reading my fellow bloggers’ posts.  This is a huge part of my self-care and I love it.  looking out the window

As I am a recovering codependent, there are times I still fall off the wagon.  I do too much and I help too much and at the end of the day I am exhausted.  I do not follow my advice and take time for me.  Turning off the worry and the need to fix everyone is crucial to all codependents, yet how do we do accomplish it?  Others know they can continually come to us for help and we are overloaded with monkeys that have come from everyone else’s back.  Time to turn the tables and give some of the monkeys back.  It is really hard to feed them all, is it not?  By hitting the switch to off duty, I am more rested, more caring, more helpful, and more at peace.  Imagine that.  Taking the time to look out the window at the world around me gives me the opportunity to switch it off.  Finding the time to do the things that care for ourselves is important to our recovery.  Your inner child will wake up and be giddy with excitement, as you have found the time to play.  Check out of the monkey business, check into the solitude and freedom of your own mind.  You, and your family, will be happy you did.

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