The dock isn’t long enough….

I want to jump, I really do.  The dock is just too short.  I may change my mind.  The water may be too cold.  The water may be too shallow.  What if I can’t swim?  What if I scream and no one hears me?

We are faced with choices daily.  Why do so many of us jump just because someone else chose to jump before us?  If the dock were longer, we would have more time to really think about the choices we are about to maDock jumpke, and maybe jumping would not be so appealing.  Listen to yourself.  Intuitions have their purpose.  Be your own voice, your own mind, your own soul.  Break away from the herd and stop blindly following others who have a louder voice.

Evidence equals truth and does not lie.  Do not make choices you will be sorry for later in life.

Freedom from codependency is finding who you are and gaining the courage to nurture yourself, body and soul, first and above all others.

 

 

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Another Step Towards Recovery

Becoming a self-confident person has always been a goal which seemed unattainable.  Although I am not yet fully operational as a self-lovromanceing person who exudes a terrific self esteem, I am happy to say that I have found an inner peace.  This inner peace has helped tamp down the awful thoughts and feelings I have had which hindered my confidence.

Inner peace translates to happiness.  Happiness has spread outward and embraced my entire world.   My newly found peace and happiness are imperative to the self care which is needed and craved.  Codependents who struggle with confidence issues can find their peace.  The will to find this peace is ever present, but it takes work.  It is not an easy task and one must keep the will for peace at the forefront of all thoughts.  The good new is:  peace is attainable.

inner peace

 

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Why not me?

Why do I feel insecure?  Why am I not important?  Why am I told it is always about me, yet I feel overlooked?

When someone is excessively put down, beaten, and made to feel unimportant, it is almost impossible for that person to pick themselves up, change their attitude, and be important.   It is simple for a codependent to act the way others expect them to, but they never really feel that way for themselves. Being compared to others is always at the forefront of their mind. The feeling of not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough… it is hard to overcome. When you pair those feelings with another who is very controlling and selfish, the outcome is devastating. A codependent has a difficult time finding their own sense of being. It is near impossible to feel and be normal. The sad truth is, we never feel good enough.

I have moments of clarity and happiness, as well as moments of severe sadness. I know I can overcome the sadness, or can I?  I will never be normal, although I am unsure what normal is supposed to be.  Can I be normal?

The plight of codependents–being unsure of how to make themselves happy while ensuring the happiness of others. I have made others laugh today…  why am I not happy?  I have made others feel loved and cared for today.  Why do I not feel loved?

Since I am unable to feel love and comfort from others today, I will rely on my faith to bring me happiness.  God, bless me and others who are sad, or overlooked, today.

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Music is therapy

“When you’re down and troubled and you need a helping hand and nothing is going right….  you just call out my name and know wherever I am…  I’ll come running to see you again.  You got a friend.”

“Sometimes in our lives we all have pain, we all have sorrow.  But if we are wise we know that there’s always tomorrow.  Lean on me when you’re not strong and I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on.  For it won’t be long ’til I’m gonna need somebody to lean on.”

We are on this path together and need to be here for each other.  Musicfriend is the therapist that can help get you through life’s toughest challenges.  Together, we can push onward and truly enjoy the journey to recovery from codependency, addiction, depression, etc.  Lean on me…  Someday, I may need to lean on you as well.

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The removal of monkeys

The monkey stole my free time.  I have been so busy feeding monkeys, I have lost myself.  The time has come to pluck them off my back, one by one, grab my laptop and do the thing that makes me so ridiculously happy and connected–writing.  There is such freedom in writing and sharing, as well as reading my fellow bloggers’ posts.  This is a huge part of my self-care and I love it.  looking out the window

As I am a recovering codependent, there are times I still fall off the wagon.  I do too much and I help too much and at the end of the day I am exhausted.  I do not follow my advice and take time for me.  Turning off the worry and the need to fix everyone is crucial to all codependents, yet how do we do accomplish it?  Others know they can continually come to us for help and we are overloaded with monkeys that have come from everyone else’s back.  Time to turn the tables and give some of the monkeys back.  It is really hard to feed them all, is it not?  By hitting the switch to off duty, I am more rested, more caring, more helpful, and more at peace.  Imagine that.  Taking the time to look out the window at the world around me gives me the opportunity to switch it off.  Finding the time to do the things that care for ourselves is important to our recovery.  Your inner child will wake up and be giddy with excitement, as you have found the time to play.  Check out of the monkey business, check into the solitude and freedom of your own mind.  You, and your family, will be happy you did.

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Changing direction

Just be yourself.   Okay.  But who am I?  I know the person that I want to be, and the person that I feel I can be, but my codependency tends to get in the way.  I am gaining the mental acuity to know the person that is deep within me and yet I push that person aside.  I want to be strong, self-assured, confident, happy, loving, caring, intelligent, spiritual, and carefree.  That person is within me and screaming to come out and face the world.  Instead, the codependent in me wants to fix the world and when she can’t, she stumbles and falls.  The person who gets up is a bit more negative and depressed. 

When I hear the wind sailvoice inside, I want to follow and throw aside the chains of codependency.  The happier, more self-confident me draws others in and laughter becomes the norm.  Meeting other codependents is therapeutic.  Seeing the similarities in our behavior patterns is enlightening and speaking of our past experiences helps, as we know we are not alone.  Codependents are normal people with bonus behavior and sensitivity traits.  We are good, loving, caring people who want to save the world.  We can start by saving ourselves.

We can overcome codependency.  “If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are headed.”  Words to live by, I think.

My Christmas wish

The holidays are here….  a time for family, gifts, cooking, and celebration of the birth of our Lord.  While I am busy preparing for the festivities to begin, my thoughts constantly go to my friend whose husband is fighting cancer, and another friend who lost faith-to-sit1her husband to cancer two years ago.  This time of year is difficult when loved ones are suffering or missing.  The loneliness and sadness is heard in their voices and it grips your heart so tight it is hard to breathe.  Many tears have been shed with these two friends and the words of sympathy and consolation are hard to find, as they have all be said.   Prayer provides the solace needed and I pour my prayers over all who are suffering or lonely.  

I am fortunate to be blessed with a healthy family and we are able to celebrate with great joy in our hearts.  Peace is found with the power of prayer.  My Christmas wish is help others find the peace needed to get through the holidays.  My prayer warriors are quickly assembled.  If you know one who is in need of prayers, I would be honored to give this as my gift.  Post a comment or send me an email:  shelbirose@live.com and provide as little or as much information as you wish.  May God bless all.