Emotion | Me 2.0

I have wings. I have not seen them or touched them, but I know they are there. I fly…. fast and quick as I remove myself from potential “situations”. In the peak of my codependency, I was unable and unequipped to deal with confrontation, accusations, or anger when it was directed at me. I have learned much about alcoholism over the years. Alcholics go through many stages while drinking and trying to gauge which stage an alcoholic is at can be extremely trying. The angry threatening stage was the worst for me, as I felt I could never say or do the right things to bring the anger down or defend myself. It was far easier for me to run. Avoidance was my only hope of maintaining my sanity. I was not a fighter and trying to stand my ground or make my point was a like a small dog shaking after it has been scolded. My brain would freeze and I could not seem to form a sentence. Flight was a much better resolution for me. The only problem with flight is that eventually you have to return to the scene and face the music. Also, fleeing a situation causes the aggressor to feel that they were “right” all along. We all know how it feels to be wrong all the time.

I am one of the lucky ones. I have learned from my past. I realized the inner strength I had inside myself and I draw on that strength often. I now consider myself to be a fighter. I face my situations head on and know now that honesty really is the best policy. My new motto: “say what you mean, and mean what you say.” Words to live by.

My fellow codependents, take back your strength and no longer give it away to be used against you. Be strong… and fight for yourself.