Stepping Out of the Shadows

I have lived a life in the shadows of others.  Time to shine.

I was the best wallflower with the most amazing ability to blend into any background.  Never wanting to draw attention to myself, I was uncomfortable at parties, especially if alcohol was present.  I always wanted to be the girl who was extremely confident, fun, and who others gravitated towards.  This was not to be.  I grew up too fast and this maturity at such a young age stunted my “party” persona.  I still feel awkward in a party setting or a large crowd, but I am changing.  Enter Me 2.0.

I have before me an opportunity to take control of my destiny and be successful.  The window to this opportunity will not stay open long and I must firmly grasp this chance by being more assertive, more willing to be a “no” person, as well as be more forward thinking.  I know I am capable of doing all three, and have the confidence to accomplish much in my career.  However, the constant need to make everyone happy rears its ugly head again.  I often feel the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.

As I break away from the old me and walk at a steady pace, I continuously look back at the old me in the shadows.  While the old me will always have her place in my soul, the new me is becoming quite remarkable.  I face forward and move more quickly toward my future  My change is my destiny.  I will become a new me.

“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”
―William Jennings Bryan

“We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.”
―Rick Warren

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Worry? Me?

All it takes is a small seed of information to send my world on its end. I am a worrier by nature and I am not patient. When it comes to my job, and the skills I have for the job, I take great pride in my knowledge and work experience. If I feel I am passed over on a promotion, I immediately question why, as I know I have what is needed to get the promotion and excel at the job. If I hear that I am passed over on a promotion due to the hiring party “having a friend…,” I get a bit angry. The worry then begins. I expend a lot of negative energy worrying about things that I cannot change and that are clearly out of my control. The blow to my self-esteem is another part that makes this difficult. My first reaction is to want to immediately find another job. They don’t deserve me, right? I am highly skilled and experienced!

After I have the time to evaluate the entire situation, I am able to rationalize with the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other and come to a very important conclusion: I still am very skilled in many areas and have experience beyond my years. This make me a very valuable person in the work place and in life in general. My worry is decreasing, along with my anger. doorWhen one door closes, another opens. I do not want to stare and ponder at the closed door so much that I miss the opportunity that may arise from the door which has opened. The fighter in me refuses to lie down and take it–I will rise and fight.  Worry accomplishes absolutely nothing.

Self-help guide:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anxiety_self_help.htm

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