To wear the badge of “Codependent,” one must go through a lifetime of addiction, dysfunction, and very trying life situations. It is not a perfect life, nor is it an easy one. It is, however, the life we have formed for ourselves and the life we live. We are able to make the lives of those around us more pleasant, much to our own detriment. It is the role in life that we have chosen and we take our role seriously. It is a burden and it is a challenge, but we come out in the end as very capable and strong individuals. I believe we become codependents as a result of the love we feel for the people to whom we are codependent.
This love we feel becomes hidden behind the façade of meekness or possibly even weakness. It appears that we are incapable of handling situations, are controlled by others, and rarely do we think for ourselves. Little do these people know about the strength and power every codependent holds.
A large part of my self-care involves writing this blog and writing has become a source of my strength. The more I write, the stronger and more confident I feel. When I feel confident, I want to share this confidence in my writing with the people closest to me. I recently had my best friend state that she would like to edit my book, which is a story of my life and how I became the amazing codependent I am today. I consented and provided it to her. Upon her reading of only the beginning chapters, I was told that my book is too personal, how would my mother feel, and if this book ever got into the wrong hands I would surely be hurt due to the choices and decisions I have made in my past. I was speechless. I showed another friend a couple of my blog postings. After she read them, she stated “that is just sad.” I was hurt.
Since I am on the road to recovering from codependency and heading towards independent living, I have to share the bad with the good. It would be very easy for me to write a happy post every day, but that is not my purpose. There are many of us codependents out there and if I can help even one, my life would be blessed. I do not feel that we should hide or be embarrassed about our life stories. They did, after all, mold us into the people we are today, and I am not unhappy being me. I actually like me.
People do not take time to walk in the shoes of another or try to understand the pitfalls and roadblocks someone has faced on their path to recovery. Perception without empathy is a very shallow view.
P.S. I want to thank you all for reading my posts–you motivate and help me more than you know!