Music is therapy

“When you’re down and troubled and you need a helping hand and nothing is going right….  you just call out my name and know wherever I am…  I’ll come running to see you again.  You got a friend.”

“Sometimes in our lives we all have pain, we all have sorrow.  But if we are wise we know that there’s always tomorrow.  Lean on me when you’re not strong and I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on.  For it won’t be long ’til I’m gonna need somebody to lean on.”

We are on this path together and need to be here for each other.  Musicfriend is the therapist that can help get you through life’s toughest challenges.  Together, we can push onward and truly enjoy the journey to recovery from codependency, addiction, depression, etc.  Lean on me…  Someday, I may need to lean on you as well.

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My Christmas wish

The holidays are here….  a time for family, gifts, cooking, and celebration of the birth of our Lord.  While I am busy preparing for the festivities to begin, my thoughts constantly go to my friend whose husband is fighting cancer, and another friend who lost faith-to-sit1her husband to cancer two years ago.  This time of year is difficult when loved ones are suffering or missing.  The loneliness and sadness is heard in their voices and it grips your heart so tight it is hard to breathe.  Many tears have been shed with these two friends and the words of sympathy and consolation are hard to find, as they have all be said.   Prayer provides the solace needed and I pour my prayers over all who are suffering or lonely.  

I am fortunate to be blessed with a healthy family and we are able to celebrate with great joy in our hearts.  Peace is found with the power of prayer.  My Christmas wish is help others find the peace needed to get through the holidays.  My prayer warriors are quickly assembled.  If you know one who is in need of prayers, I would be honored to give this as my gift.  Post a comment or send me an email:  shelbirose@live.com and provide as little or as much information as you wish.  May God bless all.

Warmth on a cold day

Winter is definitely here. A little too early, if you ask me. With it comes a blown-out tire and a car in the ditch–twice. While the day started off on a very bad note, the sun quickly came out and shone brightly. I have the most amazing neighbors and with their help was able to get out of the ditch and made it to work. At work, I paid it forward and assisted co-workers with issues they were having. The feelings of support, confidence, and happiness carried through the day and into the night. It is refreshing to know that you can rely on others and be relied upon.

Finding happiness within yourself first is expected. However, it can be a major accomplishment, if not a life goal for a codependent. We are more concerned with the happiness of others than that of ourselves, and will do “whatever it takes” to make sure others around us are happy. Self care is necessary and important, but the time spent on self-care does not equate to fulfilling happiness within yourself. Happiness is the self-confidence you feel after looking in the mirror and knowing you look great, the dance in your step when you have purchased the perfect outfit, and the joy felt when your dogs greet you at the door upon arrival. That is pure happiness. It must come naturally and from within yourself.  Find it… it is in you.

happiness

Love me? …or love me not?

The codependent in me is working overtime. As I have stated in past blogs, I tend to be a very opinionated person. So opinionated that I will not back down when I am challenged. Standing my ground almost always leads to me looking like the fool and the guilt that kicks in afterward is palpable. My current obsession is about a friend of mine. She is the person who always runs the show and tends to be a bit bossy. One particular evening, she was saying negative comments about someone who I really like. I defended the person after the comments were made. As my friend is rarely met with opposition, she shut down and wouldn’t continue with her argument. I was not trying to “win” the argument, I just felt the things being said were unfair.

Since that fateful day, I have not talked to this friend. We are not the closest friends, nor do we speak daily, but I do consider her a friend, as our husbands are best friends. I recently saw her and her husband at a basketball game and they left without even acknowledging us. I was left feeling confused and then the guilt and overly obsessive want to make it better kicked in.

I wonder if I should just keep quiet and rarely speak up in group conversations. This leaves a bad taste in my mouth as I will be giving up a piece of who I am. Maybe I will have to take the advice I learned long ago… do I want to be happy, or do I want to be right? I just want to be me…

broken friendship

I give thanks…

I give thanks to my wonderful family for always standing beside me, even when the choices I make turn out to be the biggest disasters.

I give thanks to my husband, who has to lives with me, the crazy codependent, and still loves me.

I give thanks to my children who are exceptional people and will always carry a piece of my heart with them.

I give thanks for my birds and dogs, as they provide unconditional love and needed therapy on stressful days.

I give thanks for my job, as I am able to provide for my family.

I give thanks to my friends, for always listening to me, knowing and understanding me, and still being my friend.

I give thanks to the people who read my blog, as they give me the courage and will to continue writing.

I give thanks to all Veterans who always give more than they receive and deserve more of our respect and gratitude.

I give thanks to my Lord for carrying me through the hard times, showing me that faith is priceless, and continuing to promise me grace and love after all the mistakes I have made.

Thanksgiving

 

Looking for love… in all the wrong places

In the past, I felt I needed to be liked or “loved” by almost everyone with whom I come into contact.  I craved attention, while at the same time blending in with the wallpaper.  I was agreeable in any conversation, even if I truly disagreed with the subject or opinions surrounding it.  I was always the one person who made everyone comfortable, the mediator, the thermostat, the “middle child.”  The one person who others would tell their secrets, or problems, like there was a neon sign above my head declaring that I was a great listener and was open for business.  My need to be loved overshadowed the inner turmoil and uncomfortableness I would feel around some men, which always led to regret and sadness. 

On my journey to independence from codependency, I have learned that I can speak my mind and state my own opinions without fear.  At times, I believe I speak my mind more loudly than I should. and will later second guess myself.  The guilt still tries to creep in, or the need to explain or excuse myself.  I stand behind my convictions, and am strong in my beliefs.  I am now the square peg and do not fit into the round hole.  Being strong suits me and I feel I do not need to look for love any longer, but accept the true love and friendship I am finding along my journey.  Love me for who I am, not for who you want me to be.