The need to feel loved

It is easy to love me.  Just tell me.  Tell me I am pretty.  White lies are acceptable.  Women are not as difficult and hard to live with as you may think.  We are actually very easy.  We need to feel loved.  We need to feel cared for.  We need to feel protected.  Be our knight in shining armor.  Showing you care or paying compliments to others is difficult, but the payback is amazing!  You may receive a smile, a hug, or a laugh and the love is returned to you.  Who wouldn’t want that?

Women go through many changes in their lifetime,  body changes, mood changes, getting less sleep and more work.  We need a little comfort and a little praise, possibly even a little thank you.  Tell me you love me…

 

 

 

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Busy life

While I am not a soccer mom, I am a working wife and mother who has three kids in sports.  The seemingly endless running from game to match is exhausting, yet exciting.  I love watching the kids play and I couldn’t be more proud.  I end up becoming so involved in the game or match that I get angry at bad calls, and exhilarated when we score. quiet

The busy life also makes me appreciate the quiet times, the times when I can be me and do not have to wear the mom or wife hats.  These quiet times enable me to rejuvenate and prepare for the next round of busy.  Self care helps me be centered, balanced, and happy.  It also keeps the irrational crazies away–those times when I can go from zero to mad in 10 seconds.

When you come home from your busy life and you are extremely exhausted, and your bed is screaming your name, take 15 minutes of quiet.  There is a definite need to unwind and breathe.  We take on so much of the world every day that we need our time of peace and quiet.  Love yourself and take care of yourself.  Your life and health depend on it.

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Why not me?

Why do I feel insecure?  Why am I not important?  Why am I told it is always about me, yet I feel overlooked?

When someone is excessively put down, beaten, and made to feel unimportant, it is almost impossible for that person to pick themselves up, change their attitude, and be important.   It is simple for a codependent to act the way others expect them to, but they never really feel that way for themselves. Being compared to others is always at the forefront of their mind. The feeling of not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough… it is hard to overcome. When you pair those feelings with another who is very controlling and selfish, the outcome is devastating. A codependent has a difficult time finding their own sense of being. It is near impossible to feel and be normal. The sad truth is, we never feel good enough.

I have moments of clarity and happiness, as well as moments of severe sadness. I know I can overcome the sadness, or can I?  I will never be normal, although I am unsure what normal is supposed to be.  Can I be normal?

The plight of codependents–being unsure of how to make themselves happy while ensuring the happiness of others. I have made others laugh today…  why am I not happy?  I have made others feel loved and cared for today.  Why do I not feel loved?

Since I am unable to feel love and comfort from others today, I will rely on my faith to bring me happiness.  God, bless me and others who are sad, or overlooked, today.

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The Secret

What is the secret to a long and happy life?  Many believe it is staying fit and keeping in good health.  Others believe it is not taking risks and staying safe.  I believe the secret is happiness, a positive outlook, and a deep faith.  When a person is positive and loving life, it  inspires others to shine and want to have a more positive outlook as well.  I also notice that when I am in a positive frame of mind, I am more patient, and treat others with more love and kindness.  I, personally, really love to see people smile.

Happiness comes from within.  Believe it and smile.  Get your shine on!smiling

Madness in March

I had no idea how much I would enjoy men’s college basketball, until the college my son attends made it to the dance.  The college spirit and loyalty to the team is infectious and one is easily drawn into the excitement.  Watching the teams work together, the coaches support their “boys” and the fans making the most noise they possibly can makes your heart race and you find yourself cheering loudly.  The excitement builds as the score changes, first your team is ahead, then suddenly behind.  You raise your hands to heaven and just as quickly clench your fists.  When the team you support the most wins, the smile on your face becomes permanent and you start to relive the highlights.  I find myself following teams as they work their way through the brackets until the final.  The outright excitement which surrounds the winning team is palpable.  The sadness and disappointment that surrounds the losing team makes me sad, these are just young men after all, some of them seniors and at the end of their run.  Just to be included is thrilling and exhilarating.

I only wish we could have this kind of madness every month.

Go Cyclones!!

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Quieting life down

Life equals busy and busy equals being on the move, all the time.  There are so many things I want to accomplish, but the feeling of having no time surrounds me.  Work, children, sports, school functions, cleaning, cooking, all combine to create a very full, very busy life, with little time for self care.  In these busy times, I need to consciously slow myself down and take time for me, my writing, and my self care.  The power of self care can recalibrate the mind and bring everything back to center.  When I am centered, the ideas flow and I am able to visualize future plans and goals.  The senses come alive.  I hear birds singing, I see details clearly, I smell the crisp in the air.

My busy life is the organized, helpful, and nurturing part of my world, but my quiet life is the thoughtful, caring, and creative part of my world.  The parts go together very well, but there are times when the balance is shifted to one side more than the other and it becomes hard to control.  The need to return the balance is imperative and learning to maintain the balance is the key.  Quiet life down and listen.  The answers will come.

Music is therapy

“When you’re down and troubled and you need a helping hand and nothing is going right….  you just call out my name and know wherever I am…  I’ll come running to see you again.  You got a friend.”

“Sometimes in our lives we all have pain, we all have sorrow.  But if we are wise we know that there’s always tomorrow.  Lean on me when you’re not strong and I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on.  For it won’t be long ’til I’m gonna need somebody to lean on.”

We are on this path together and need to be here for each other.  Musicfriend is the therapist that can help get you through life’s toughest challenges.  Together, we can push onward and truly enjoy the journey to recovery from codependency, addiction, depression, etc.  Lean on me…  Someday, I may need to lean on you as well.

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