Another Step Towards Recovery

Becoming a self-confident person has always been a goal which seemed unattainable.  Although I am not yet fully operational as a self-lovromanceing person who exudes a terrific self esteem, I am happy to say that I have found an inner peace.  This inner peace has helped tamp down the awful thoughts and feelings I have had which hindered my confidence.

Inner peace translates to happiness.  Happiness has spread outward and embraced my entire world.   My newly found peace and happiness are imperative to the self care which is needed and craved.  Codependents who struggle with confidence issues can find their peace.  The will to find this peace is ever present, but it takes work.  It is not an easy task and one must keep the will for peace at the forefront of all thoughts.  The good new is:  peace is attainable.

inner peace


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The need to feel loved

It is easy to love me.  Just tell me.  Tell me I am pretty.  White lies are acceptable.  Women are not as difficult and hard to live with as you may think.  We are actually very easy.  We need to feel loved.  We need to feel cared for.  We need to feel protected.  Be our knight in shining armor.  Showing you care or paying compliments to others is difficult, but the payback is amazing!  You may receive a smile, a hug, or a laugh and the love is returned to you.  Who wouldn’t want that?

Women go through many changes in their lifetime,  body changes, mood changes, getting less sleep and more work.  We need a little comfort and a little praise, possibly even a little thank you.  Tell me you love me…




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Why not me?

Why do I feel insecure?  Why am I not important?  Why am I told it is always about me, yet I feel overlooked?

When someone is excessively put down, beaten, and made to feel unimportant, it is almost impossible for that person to pick themselves up, change their attitude, and be important.   It is simple for a codependent to act the way others expect them to, but they never really feel that way for themselves. Being compared to others is always at the forefront of their mind. The feeling of not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough… it is hard to overcome. When you pair those feelings with another who is very controlling and selfish, the outcome is devastating. A codependent has a difficult time finding their own sense of being. It is near impossible to feel and be normal. The sad truth is, we never feel good enough.

I have moments of clarity and happiness, as well as moments of severe sadness. I know I can overcome the sadness, or can I?  I will never be normal, although I am unsure what normal is supposed to be.  Can I be normal?

The plight of codependents–being unsure of how to make themselves happy while ensuring the happiness of others. I have made others laugh today…  why am I not happy?  I have made others feel loved and cared for today.  Why do I not feel loved?

Since I am unable to feel love and comfort from others today, I will rely on my faith to bring me happiness.  God, bless me and others who are sad, or overlooked, today.

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The Secret

What is the secret to a long and happy life?  Many believe it is staying fit and keeping in good health.  Others believe it is not taking risks and staying safe.  I believe the secret is happiness, a positive outlook, and a deep faith.  When a person is positive and loving life, it  inspires others to shine and want to have a more positive outlook as well.  I also notice that when I am in a positive frame of mind, I am more patient, and treat others with more love and kindness.  I, personally, really love to see people smile.

Happiness comes from within.  Believe it and smile.  Get your shine on!smiling

Mothers and sons

B&TI love being a mother.  My children are the two most incredible things I have done in my life.   For some reason, God decided to give me these remarkable boys, and then broke the mold.  I am so proud of these beings that I have created, who are turning into very fine young men.  At times when I feel down, and self-worth is at a low point, I only have to think of my boys and realize that I have given this world two of the greatest gifts….  my children.  I am amazing.  Mothers are amazing.

The bond I have with my boys will never be broken.  They have seen and heard things that should never have been a part of their world.  In protecting them, I have hurt them.  Someday, they will understand the choices I have made.  They are resilient and accept what is with grace.  They are amazing.

As my boys get older and more independent, I am thankful they are confident, intelligent, and resourceful.  The fact that they continue to tell me they love me, makes my heart smile.  I will lay down my life for my boys.  As they have started venturing out into the world, I let them go with these words “You are my heart, which walks outside my body.  Treat others as you would have them treat you.  Make me proud, and always take care of yourselves and each other.  Be amazing.” 

Thank you, Lord, for all you have given to me. 



Love yourself… always

They try to keep us down, but they won’t succeed!  While the roller coaster of self-esteem goes up and down, twists and turns, and at times makes us ill, the courage to fight against it and persevere is remarkable.  So many times, people walk all over your self-esteem to keep their own self upright and feeling good.  Believe in karma?  I do.  I have seen the power of karma knock the legs right out from under those who trample on others.  It is often a challenge to put the gloves on and fight back, every turn has something waiting.  Defeat and depression are not an option.  Know who you are inside and out and love yourself.  As the horizon approaches, many good things are waiting and will come to those who are patient and humble.  Pray for the storm to pass quickly, then move forward with confidence.  Be inspired, be impressive, be proud. 

If you don't see your worth, you'll always cho...

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A new day dawns

Confidence, self-esteem, determination, fortitude. and belief.  Many of us try so hard to grasp and hold even one of these traits to become whole.  However, we find that we are pushed down again and again.  Why do so many find their power in hurting others and enjoy wielding it over them?  These bullies will find a crack in someone’s self-esteem, and widen it, little by little.  This goes one until one is so beat down, they start to truly believe and feel what they are hearing.  We run away…  to our safe place.  The place that no one can enter, no one can ruin.  A place so special, we find the confidence and self-esteem we are lacking.  If only we can stay.  We are welcomed and loved here.  This is our soft place to land.

We have the power to change our destiny.  We are true warriors.  Yes, believe it.  sunriseWe have been fighting for our sanity most of our lives.  Take control.  Find the determination to make those difficult choices and stand by them.  Time will heal.  The newly found confidence will radiate from deep in your soul.  The confidence is seen by others who have done their time and a kinship is formed.  We form our own alliance and we share our stories, which are hauntingly similar.  We are not alone.  We are awesome in our strength and amazing in our empathy.  A new day dawns.