Oops… I did it again. I made someone mad again. But my side of the argument was correct!!! Wasn’t it? I was right, they were wrong. I stood up for my point of view. Yea me! Now they are mad. Oh no… I feel so bad. How do I deal with this guilt? They can’t possibly be mad at me! I was right! I can make this better. I will call them. Or maybe an email. No! Wait! A text will fix everything. Maybe a gift?
After I have called and left a message, emailed them, and sent a text, why am I not feeling better? My heart hurts because I have now hurt them. My role as the perfect codependent is to make everyone feel good, not make them mad! I am the consummate thermostat in the room…. if things are heating up, I cool the them down. If things are getting chilly, I warm them up. That is what all good codependents do, right?
When a codependent starts on a new path to independent living, they start to dismantle this thermostat and start to think on their own. Stating your opinion comes with this territory. I am learning to lose the guilt and shed the chains of codependency that bind me. I am an intelligent person who is entitled to my opinion. I will no longer clog the lines of social media with my guilt and need for forgiveness. If I have truly done something to someone which is worthy of the anger, then I will apologize and ask for forgiveness–one time. I will not beg and plead for that person to acknowledge my guilt. Freedom is a precious gift, my friends.
- Admittance and Recovery (Codependency) (johnryan8622.wordpress.com)